Mad As A Hatter - Would this guy make a good friend?
It amazes me how much attention the video i posted got me today – 6 people commented on it in either mail or offline message. which surprised me – i had not taken it too seriously just had a crazy morning and it made me think of the song – so i posted it – it wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously – i mean am i really due a mental breakdown??
I had one female friend give me a really hard time about it and i can only imagine she thought i was suggesting she was mad or something – i can only assume that was the interpretation because of the level of juvenile ranting i found when i logged into my msn. It got me to thinking about friends in general – in life we have many kinds of friends and in general i don’t have many – i would rather have a few good ones than many polite strangers.. The friend I talk of in particular is the only one that i have that could be considered high maintenance.
Some people seem really nice when you meet them, fairly fun, interesting and perhaps quirky but end up making your life difficult because either they assume everything is directed at them or have their own expectations on what friendship should be. The fact is the people i consider my best friends in life i don’t often talk to at all – but i know whenever i see them its pretty much like i haven’t left.
I don’t know if theres a formula for being a good friend – but i suspect its just something as simple as caring for someone and having no real expectations beyond that. I don’t like a difficult life – most of my friends are relaxed people, easy going and know me well enough to know on the most part i am too.
So how much effort is friendship actually worth? how do you know when to just give up and move on? Friendship is valuable for me, but a friend who will get upset for no reason and require constant reassurance seem to be a lost cause – i mean if they are going to get upset all the time that doesn’t do me good or them. People do get upset, and as a friend i like to help them but sometimes i think people you try to be friends with can be fundamentally incompatible – sometimes you can cause them problems by just being yourself. So what should you do then? Change? Thats something that has to be answered on a case by case basis.
Im a reasonable person – this particular friend I speak of has been upset quite a few times now and i seriously start to wonder about mental stability as well – i don’t like people that get angry for no reason. It shouldn’t be hard to have a friend- i think all of my best friends or at least most of them have a kind of inner tranquility about them – they are all people who are good at heart.
Sometimes i have to question what is normal and what is not – when does a passionate soul become someone who is mentally unwell? some people get constantly upset over nothing and that level of stress can’t be good for you. At what point is someone dangerous? I like passionate people in general but i have a fairly strictly defined sense of what is right and wrong – and when someone crosses over a line with me or is trying to push me in a direction i just don’t want to go i admit i can be stubborn – i can push back, and i can push back hard. In the past some people have thought that makes me a bully, but i am not and never have been a bully. I get no joy from upsetting people and i don’t play with their feelings – i am not interested in the games, and people who bully others really do annoy me!
Its very rare i loose friends and it always saddens me when it happens because nobody likes to lose friends.Friends should have a level of respect for each other and shouldn’t act like 5 year olds. That said and done though i don’t have problems detaching from people that cause grief. So in this case i am going to just tell my friend that was, that enough is enough – we won’t be speaking anymore.Some people, no matter how little or much you like them are simply not good in your life. If my life was a pond i like it to be fairly calm. i don’t need people generating huge waves, but the occasional ripple is cool.
